AMERITORIVM
On The Search For Cookouts, Royal Companies, & Reasons To Celebrate The 4th Of July
M.E.S.S.
1: INTRO
I’m as American as Apple Pie and Saltwater Tea. As American as jalapeño-poppers burnt on a Vintage Ford’s tailgate grill. I’m as panderingly patriotic as illegal Roman Candles fired from Schwinn Handlebars to the cheers of a block party cookout. But right now, as with many Americans around my age, I’m trying to find even a single reason to celebrate this 4th of July. To celebrate my birth nation’s 250th year. As usual, I was invited to a barbecue at my neighbor’s house. It’s a tradition you see. And regardless of how much I might bitch and moan, I know I’ll still probably end up going. Even if only for the food. Our politics are all very different, you see. But we enjoy the same food. Love the same drinks. And relish each other’s company. Even the arguments. It’s a tradition here to watch the night sky erupt with thunder and light. It’s a tradition to set out blankets and reserve a spot for the fireworks show two days in advance. It’s tradition to listen to some poor high school soprano hopeful, try to navigate our national anthem’s star spangled runs with a cracking hormonal voice, and a microphone mistakenly held far too close to the Amp. And, it’s tradition cheer them on whenever they stumble.
But still. The more I learn, both of my own country’s history, and of the Wehrmachts my tax dollars are continually sent to fund, the harder and harder it is for me to celebrate this day at all. Time and time again, my search for celebration turns into research. That research unearths horrors, and then every time the rabbit hole of our shared history swallows me again. And again. And again. And unlike our pretentious friend Plato, every time I come up from those caves, the more shadows I see. With everything I learn, the harder and harder it gets to cheer on anything about this at all. Every day it becomes harder for me to reconcile the nation I was promised, with the one I’ve come to learn actually exists. Like most Children, I grew up having a much different view of the world, and of course, of my nation’s role in it. A world view with both a far rosier past…and far simpler future. However, like every other American, I soon learned that my rights are actually just privileges: employee benefits…with fine print, conditional upon management and vibes. Like a pizza party at the end of Q1. Eventually I learned the truth, that even National Constitutions are just contracts between "Land-Management Companies" and their unwilling employees. And because these Company’s Employees are born into contract…that is to say, the terms and conditions of their employment was determined before their birth, Companies must continually provide benefits, compensations, terms, and conditions to every generation of new employees. Companies must both reiterate, and re-demonstrate their benefits to every new generation of unpaid interns unwillingly born onto company property. In other words, a Constitutional Contract is a contract whose benefits must be continually demonstrated to all those that never actually signed the damn thing.
Now, in fairness, on the surface of it all, our 'US Company Contract' is actually a pretty good deal for its Employees. It comes with perks, benefits, and employee rights. It allows its shareholders to decide company policy, management, and to whistle blow without fear of reprisal. It has safeguards to protect the workplace from harassment, and it grants its Employees the assurance of “safety.” Safety from the likes of Kings. For you see, unlike serfdom, or colonial projects, the Constitutional Contracts pay people for their labor. That is why, the US is very clear that ‘Company Workers Under Contract’ will not only be granted the privilege, but also the means and rights…to facilitate their own “pursuit of happiness.” Truly…the US Company Contract is nothing short of revolutionary and inspirational.
However…gradually, my Company has changed its tune. Or rather…shown its true colors. The inspiration was…aspiration. And the aspiration is all but aspirating on its own verbiage. Our management has gotten so confident in their routine "Contract Violations," that the Company has all but rejected the core tenets of its original legal tender. In fact, The US Company has—arguably—never even met them to begin with. Gradually the Land Management Company that calls itself the United States Of America has eased back on even the appearance, of adhering to its own contract. The benefits (as described in the original employment agreement) have not only been steadily eroded since their inception, but whittled down with every generation (assuming they were even met in the first place). Today, my ‘Company' has become so violently criminal, and obnoxiously confident in their steadfast refusals to uphold the conditions of our willing employment, that many Employees are considering leaving the Company altogether. The United States, despite branding itself as an alternative to the horrors of Slavery and Kingship, has never actually held up that end of the deal, nor even re-demonstrated its value to younger employees. And today, as I watch my Company’s Management fail to uphold even a single fraction of their oaths, as I watch the rafters and the load-bearing columns of my little Colonial-Style House sway and mold, I am struggling: struggling to find even a single reason to celebrate this 4th of July.
And as I struggle I just cant help but feel like I’ve been robbed of something. Like some thief stole from me along the way. Stole the Company I was promised. Stole the benefits from the agreement I was "Grandfathered" into. It honestly feels like a hostile takeover took place behind the scenes, or behind closed doors of a Company Retreat. And through it all...I just can’t stop thinking about Kings...
2: THIEVES AND HONORED SEATS
In case you didn’t know, Thieves are Cancer. And, much like face-blind Pansexuals entering their ‘Hoe-Era,’ Thieves come in many shapes and sizes. They are Humanity’s oldest enemy, and in this modern world, still remain our greatest threat. But, in this Digital Landscape, Thieves have become much harder and harder to spot. And as such, significantly harder to define. But, when in doubt, I find the best definition for a Thief is simply to call them,
"Someone who feels entitled to the things they did not make."
And, just like with actual biological cancers, on the whole, Thieves reject partial ownership of anything. They will take anything they can and consume it all relentlessly, eating, siphoning, and extracting it all: extracting life itself until the eventual death of their host. Now, don’t get me wrong. Thieves have existed in many forms over the centuries. And some are actually quite beneficial. They serve their purpose. They expose cracks in the machine, and flaws in the systems we build to facilitate the pursuit of happiness (like beta-testers in video games, or drunk tourists for guard rail placement). Some Thieves are actually quite talented and even, at time, entertaining. Furthermore, in the modern world, the ones with real chutzpa can make a good living without harming too many innocent people in the process. But even amongst the ranks of Thieves there is an honored seat in their midst. A throne for monsters. A dais for the true Worst of the Worst. For a type of Thief that does not simply steal material wealth…or just some tactile goods, but actually steals People’s lives instead. Past. Present. And future. They steal not just assets, but other Humans' ‘Humanity' itself, all for the purposes of personal enrichment. It is a very particular class of Thief who not only demands, but expects, the fruits of people’s labor. Forever. A Cancer whose malignant greed demands ‘profit-extraction-thresholds' so spectacularly high that the only possible solution to satisfy their desire...is the institution of Slavery itself. Indeed, this is a class of Thief whose greed demands total unconditional ownership of an unpaid force of Workers. This is a kind of Thief that Humanity once called ‘Kings.’
3: THE KINGS THAT RAISED THIS EARTH
In the past, Kings managed to steal entire continents’ worth of people, creating empires off of forcefully stolen labor: enriching themselves, and then throwing it away on petty wars with their inbred brother/cousins. Fortunately however, it seems that Kings are…on the whole...on the way out. Most of their empires are no more. And that is in no small part…actually thanks to the United States of America. Thanks to its independance. Because if nothing else, America is, at its core, a rejection of Traditional Kingship. A new world symphony, for the modern age. The warband of liberation. The gun-toting guerilla heralds of an age beyond the terrors of Dictatorial Control. But…if we’re being honest...things are not going particularly well. Or at least…not as well as was projected. The US has been around for exactly 250 years. And since then, it has been at war (in some way, shape, or form) for more than 240+ years of that time. That’s just over 93% by the way. Now, of course the US didn’t start all those wars. And, perhaps, as the iron standard of force in this world, this is merely a quirk of fate. The result of opening the Nuclear Box. The result of the "liberator’s banner" we took upon ourselves to carry. The price of cleaning up other country’s problems, and fixing the colonial messes left by European Kings, all out of a pure, idealistic, Libertarian Generosity, and a patriotic sense of…what was it again? Yes. "Freedom.” That was it. Yes, the US is…at our core…the sworn enemy of Kings. At least in theory. And whether we’ve actually abided by that or not, the world has been shaped in the image of that message. And yet after 250 years, I think we can finally start asking the question…
Is it working? Have we made something better...
Our Executive Branch wields unrestrained power: the sort of power even Roman Emperors could only dream of. Our Supreme Court is nothing more than a bona fide bribe-collection-plate for Kleptocrats in aristocratic Drag. Our Geriatric Legislature relies on Gerrymandering to even exist. Our campaign finance system exists only as a bidding war between foreign and domestic genocidal apartheid PAC's. Our Electoral College exists for no other reason than to grant disproportionate voting privileges to White, landowning Confederate Slavers. Our zip codes are better predictors of children’s life expectancy than any aspect of their eventual lifestyle. Our prison system is nothing more than jukebox reruns of Jim Crowe’s best hits. Our President’s family, as well as the spouses of elected politicians, continually trade stocks based off of insider information, benefitting from their blood-ties to power as much as any other inbred Hapsburgs. Furthermore, our military is responsible for just as much wanton civilian death and destruction, as was that Nazi Party. The only difference between our two regimes is just that the US Military had the foresight not to do it White Folk, or on camera, for that matter. In fact, my nation has actually toppled, interfered with, or invaded far more countries than Hitler ever did. Our military industrial apparatus exists for no other reason than to profit off of continued, and mechanized civilian death. And as we, the People, enter another endless war against the vicious cabals of schoolgirls and threateningly-brown civilians, it is becoming increasingly clear to just about every American that our taxes pay for the US to enact violence upon foreign countries both far worse and far more pervasive than any atrocity ever levied against us by the British Crown. And perhaps most concerning of all, this all seems to happen solely to benefit a specialized class of (mostly) American Businessmen. A Business Class that acts like Kings. A group of People that owns the majority of this world. In short…never before did so few…possess so much...of just about everything. And now, after 250 years of this Old Guard refusing to grow or remodel, the cracks in our Hull are beginning to show. Is this the end? Is this destiny? Or maybe this is all just growing pains? Possibly just a sign of the times. Who can say? As a result of the depravity and dementia of our Ruling Class, many are speculating that the United States Of America is not only on the way out, but that the worst is yet to come. That, much like how the Fall of the Soviet Union only resulted in a further Consolidation of Oligarchic control…so too could America’s end spell the birth of a new generation of Warlord Feudalism. Which means…should the US fall…we could theoretically end up with even more crowns than before. As global warming progresses, as disasters abound, and the discourse regarding our common futures continues, I see an increasingly large number of people pointing back to the "250 Year Rule.” What is that you ask? Well, in Political Philosophy, there is a commonly accepted rule that even the strongest of empires must fall. And the trend is that most empires crumble after only 250 years. However, I do not think that is the case. Even though I am not a political scientist, or even really…anything...I have my own layman theories. Rather, I think the "250 Year Rule” has nothing to do with empires at all. Instead I think 250 years is just the average amount of time it takes any Oppressed People to free themselves from institutional injustice. And on this, my homeland’s and the Global Superpower's 250th Birthday, I think it's worth examining not just the foundations of our shared House, but to what extend the same roots of injustice might stretch throughout our fields. The fields that Kings have, historically at least, so hated to farm themselves.
4: THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES
But unfortunately if we are to examine the roots of this world in situ, we must first acknowledge the actions…and the evolution of Kings. Kings may indeed be an outdated and violent font of Ape; but, they also built the foundations of our modern world: and built them specifically built to benefit the institutions of Kingship. And in the process of building this preferential world, they changed our shared history forever. How? Well, to make a long story very very short, they went out all over the world and started establishing slavery factories. Factories they took to calling “Colonies.” And what you have to understand about these Colonies is that their Kings demanded profit thresholds so high that eventually the labor force had to be subjugated as ‘property.’ Why? Because no reasonable Person would ever submit to enduring such work of their own accord. Human Rights have a nasty habit of upsetting Kings’ ambitions. So all over the world, Populations were subjected to ownership. Naturally, however, People are not property; and, as such…are never particularly thrilled about the prospect of being owned. That is why, over the last several hundred years, Enslaved Peoples everywhere gradually learned to resist and reject the label of ‘Kingship.’ To fight back against this ultimate form of Thief…at least…wherever it is they could see them. And thanks to the constant efforts of countless Enslaved Souls all over the planet, Humans everywhere have begun to see the unalienable truth of this world. That being,
"So long as even a single person is allowed to exist above another, then none of us are free."
Gradually, as more and more of Humanity learned this fact, the Golden Crowns of traditional Empires slowly began to fade. Sure, we kept a few inbred tokens around as souvenirs, but they were—on the whole—an exception. The true era of Royals is over. After all, today we live in the age of Republics! Democracy! And ASMR! Right? Well. No. It is my opinion that Kings are not only alive and well, but have actually perfected their craft.
I believe through 4 brilliant innovations, Thieves have mastered the art of maximizing traditional forms of material extraction while simultaneously minimizing their risk. In American Plantation terms, they’ve 'modernized the harvesting process.' And now, with the advent of something called 'Corporate-Personhood,' these Thieves have learned how to hide even the shadows of their Royal influence behind specialty labels, utilizing complex International Corporations as a sort of ‘disposable crown.’ One to do their dirty work. It was a strange and winding road to get there, but over the centuries, this Modern Class of hyper rich, mostly American Businessmen eventually innovated ways to weaponize the concept of 'Human Rights’ against Humanity as a whole. They have accomplished this by granting their 'Companies’ the very rights of Personhood that their Noble Predecessors once sought to undermine in their work force. In other words, through a series of innovations, they have learned to use the concept of Personhood itself as a form of 'limited liability patsy.' Something to get blamed instead of them. An empty throne for the famished peasants to burn. A fake 'king's banner' that can be instantly demoted into a swinging 'foreclosure’ sign at the very first hint of trouble. And while it is happening everywhere, I will be focusing mostly on the Americas. Why? Because this ‘Process' was pioneered by American Businessmen. It is a process that adapted from Gilded Age Barons. A process they adapted from Confederate Slavers. And it is a process that those Confederates in turn, adapted from the Royal Companies of more...traditional Kings. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Moral of the story is…unfortunately...it’s all nothing short of genius.
5: CROWNS IN PERSPECTIVE
But I hear you. You’re saying,
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. None of this sounds right! Slavers? Kings? What are you talking about? Lincoln freed the Slaves, and then everyone sang Kumbaya when Martin Luther King had the American Dream. Right? R-right?”
Well….almost. Unfortunately, though, some things are not so easily forgotten. And the machines built by Kings to utilize People as tools are not so easily changed. In other words, the marks of Kings are not limited only to the Enslaved. No. There’s a muscle memory in the hands that held the whips, and more specifically, in the pens that signed their checks. And in order to understand that 'Slavers’ Itch,’ that muscle memory in our modern Banker’s Hands, we must examine where it all started. And that involves retelling well-known history in a less…flattering light. To begin, any country that started with a Colony…almost certainly began with a Genocide as well. One that did not make the history books. One whose Victims were not only “not human” in the eyes of Colonial Aggressors, but also…usually… not even worth the paper of recording. And this process happened…just about everywhere. From the 1400’s up until about WW1, Kings everywhere committed atrocity and theft on a scale so large and so vile that it truly boggles the mind. And when told 'out of court,’ the story of their Colonies is so cartoonishly evil and villainously absurd that it’s hard to describe--even in part--without sounding totally insane. And that’s not your fault, by the way. They wrote the histories. They told the story. And they also committed their crimes in a world much different from our own. It's hard to put any of it into perspective. But, to try and give it a more modern spin, let’s do a thought experiment:
Imagine if…the Nazi’s won WWII. How? I don’t know. Maybe they didn’t invade Russia. Maybe the Chinese chose not to fight. Maybe they reinforced Normandy. But either way, imagine if, instead of joining NASA, all those Nazis just got to call it quits…and then keep everything they had stolen over the course of that War. Imagine if, as Victors, they got to…keep…everything. All the borders they’d redrawn. All the things they’d stolen. All the gold that they’d successfully smelted down from the fillings of innocent Human teeth. Now. Imagine…in the years since the War, what do you think those 'Victors’ could have accomplished with that advantage? What do you think they might have built? With those assets? With those Borders? With that...advantage?
"Wow. That’s…f*cking horrifying. And yeah, it doesn’t sound very fair."
And indeed, you are right. For when anyone is allowed to rig the game of life to that extent, they cement themselves not just as rich…but as rich forever. Money makes money. And Money makes more. And with that stolen wealth, those Nazi’s could take out loans. They could use stolen land as collateral for business ventures. They could fund new company projects. They could buy out their competition. They could establish new schools. Schools that teach what they want. Schools to teach the Holocaust in a more flattering light. Schools to teach the righteousness of their cause, and the need for 'living space.’ The Nazi Officers could charge rent to the very people they’d once sought to exterminate. And of course, when the Next Generation comes of age, a father could gift his son a stolen Raphael painting: putting it in trust as collateral for the Prodigal Son's new wave of...expansion.
“Holy shit..."
Usually. Now. Take that mental picture. The idea of a victorious, happily retired Nazi Officer tanning in the Côte d'Azur. Keep it in your mind. The horrors of Dachau. The crimes of the Vichy Government in France. The work camps. The forced labor. The new maps. The secret police. The Aryan Master Race. All of it. Think of every atrocity the Nazis were able to commit in the tenure of their expansion. Think of all the wealth they were able to extract from the Unwilling, and then to use towards cementing their…‘Aryan Supremacy.’ Now. Realize that Nazis were only in power for about 12 years and 4 months.
That’s…not very long.
Indeed. More time has passed since the release of GTA V, than the Nazi Party was even around for. Even Doritos Locos Tacos have lasted longer than the Nazis. But...imagine if there was no World War. Imagine what multiple dynasties of Hitlers could have accomplished with more than 500 years to perfect their craft. With more than 500 years to eradicate dissent. 500 years with no cameras to record their crimes. 500 years to amass their wealth. Then, once you’re done imagining the scale of that horror, multiply that damage times every colony. Multiply it against every single place that any Royal ever established a colony. That is the scale of horror we are talking about. And that is the foundation of our modern world. A world built in the image of Kings. Though, of course, Royals are almost never talked about in such terms. Because in their world, the privilege of calling Genocides by their government name is usually exclusively reserved for those populations lighter than Pantone 12-0105 TPG.
“What is that?
Look it up. But the point is that there are these rotting roots that lie far beneath the foundations of our house. Roots throughout the whole of Africa (except Ethiopia). Roots throughout all of South America. Roots throughout ALL of Asia (except Thailand). Everywhere you look, every map you see, and every war that has happened in the last 500 years was usually caused by these roots. By the remnants of dynastic psychopathy on par with even the most horrific events of the Holocaust.
6. THE EMPIRE SYSTEM: A TRANSATLANTIC STRAW
“I've heard enough. How in the sam-heck could someone have a King and not notice? America doesn’t have Kings, that’s like…our whole thing! You’re exaggerating. You’re hysterical! Calm d—"
An excellent point. One I’d be happy to explain. Just, don’t call me ‘Obviously.’ And yes, ordinarily you would obviously be right. On the surface, America, as well as most ‘developed nations,’ have no ‘KINGS.’ Occasionally, we might have strongmen, dictators, and oligarchs. We'll have presidents, prime ministers, and primaries…but, never…Kings. God, no! That is a dirty word. A slur for us modern devotees of Republic. But, labels aside, the more you examine the actions of today’s Business Class, the more you can start to see a familiar, royal pattern. For much like the Ancient Romans (the ones we Americans so love to cosplay), our society doesn't like the word ‘King,’ but…we certainly seem to worship everything else about them. Historically, at least, America has had no problem allowing its Business Class to act exactly like Kings. Just with smaller and blurrier domains of influence.
Assassinations. Genocide. Murder. Enslavement. Forced Sterilization of Native Peoples. Biological warfare. Chemical Warfare. Caste domination. Rigging elections. Mercenaries! The violent overthrow of foreign nations all for the sole purpose of personal enrichment. It’s bananas.
In fact, America even tolerates a few royal families, too. If you don’t believe me, just ask any Ivy League school about their ‘Legacy Admissions.’
However, this is all getting very heady. So, if you REALLY need a litmus test to determine if a King is actually a King, all you need to do is ask this one simple question…
“Without the use of force, could this person ever, ever go broke?”
If the answer is 'No,' then you have your answer. Plain as day. Because any good Thief can steal something once. But what separates Thieves from TRUE nobility is that Kings will never ever go poor. So please, allow me to use a very, very wide brush to connect some dots across the Atlantic Ocean.
7. THE VICTIMS OF BURDEN
We begin with the SparkNotes of a familiar story: the ‘Discovery of the New World.’ In that era, during the 15th century, technology was advancing rapidly, and the world was changing even faster. The Ottomans blocked off the door to the East. Meanwhile, China’s Empire was collapsing, as it so often does. Their Navy, which was likely the largest in history, was suddenly (and unceremoniously) curb-stomped into oblivion. Left on the corner to rot, as Chinese Emperors were forced to focus their attention inwards instead. Addressing new threats to the East. Mainly, a dangerously exposed flank along the Eurasian Steppe. Those two factors, along with the distant European appetite for spices, gave some Kings the incentive to explore. And explore they did. Because, contrary to what many people might think, Europe was NOT always a big player on the global stage. Not by a long shot. In fact, they were not even very rich. By today’s standards, the Superpowers of the 15th century would barely have considered Europe at all. They would have thought of Europe the way the UN Security Council currently thinks of South America. But, regardless, the Kings of that day DID have ambition. And a little bit of surplus cash to their name. So, with that surplus cash, Royals all over began funding expeditions. Expeditions to find new ways to get their hands on those tasty, tasty spices. And suddenly, they discovered something NO ONE could have ever expected. Two more continents to the West. The Americas. The New World. Ripe for the taking.
It was, of course, not new. And, as it so happened, was already occupied by millions of people whose ancestors had been living there for at least forty thousand years. But, in a stroke of possibly the worst luck in all of human history, those Native Americans did not have a resistance to 'Old World Diseases.' What you have to understand is that most plagues (poxes, fluxes, flus, fevers, and such) all started from animals. Usually from either the ones that we eat, or the ones that we use to plow our fields. Our ‘beasts of burden.’ And every so often, these ‘ZOONOTIC’ diseases make the jump from animals to humans. This is the source of almost every major disease we can see in our history books. It happened everywhere. But, due to its geography, the Old World (Africa, Eurasia, Europe, Etc), they got to experience all of these diseases one at a time. In waves. Over the millennia, they developed immunities in stages and over countless generations. However. The Native Americans did not. They had no major ‘Beasts of Burden.’ Well, except maybe alpacas. But that meant that when the Conquistadors finally landed, all those Native Peoples were suddenly hit by an armada of disease. EVERYTHING the Old World had been stockpiling. An arsenal of death that had been building overseas, gaining momentum and power since before even the concept of writing. From Black Plague to Small Pox, from Whooping Cough to the Common Flu. These horsemen of the apocalypse started to spread around the New World like wildfire, burning along American Trade Routes. And in another stroke of spectacularly bad luck, because those trade routes were so well developed, all those diseases traveled far faster than any Europeans Conquistadors ever could. What followed was nothing short of an Apocalypse. In just a few short years, the Americas experienced what can only be described as an ‘Extinction-Level’ event. Not even the word ‘Decimation’ does it justice, because Decimation implies cutting something down by a factor of ten. For even at its peak, the Black Plague only killed about 1/3 of the people who had been infected by it. However. As will be a common theme in this essay, what happened in the Americas was different. Entire empires, states, and civilizations were effectively wiped off the map overnight. The devastation was so widespread and so severe that there are actually accounts of European Scouts entering enormous cities, only to find the streets completely deserted, or their inhabitants dead in the streets. It was, at least in terms of percentages, perhaps the single greatest loss of Human life in all recorded History. We will simply never know just how much disappeared.
8. OVERSEAS INVESTMENTS, AND THE PROBLEM OF LABOR
Humanity aside, this surge of death presented a huge problem for European Kings. Financially speaking. After all, they had just ‘discovered’ what was essentially an unattended, untapped gold mine, but suddenly lost everyone they’d normally use to work it. And to make matters worse, even though Europeans brought many, many diseases of their own, that road was a two-way street. The Tropical Diseases of the New World made sending Europeans to work there a very, very difficult task. In financial terms, that meant the King had just incurred an enormous amount of RISK. And if they ever wanted to make a profit…they would need to--Oh, yes. You again?
"Why are you talking about finance? And not…you know…the People? Isn’t that insensitive?"
Yes. Enormously. But, unfortunately, finance is all that mattered to these Kings. And, because of that, it's worth examining things through that lens. Because finance explains what came next in a way that actual Human Empathy never could. Because, again, remember. Kings are Thieves, Thieves are Cancer, and Cancer does not care for its host. Now, back to business. For most of human history, the process of 'Kings Extracting Profits' was a top-down affair. In other words, it was a gamble that required a LOT of risk. There were many, many steps between a King's initial investment and their eventual material payout. For before a King could ever see a penny of profit, he had to first address these Seven C’s in order:
1. CROWN (Head an administrative state)
2. COIFFURES (Acquire surplus capital)
3. CAVALRY (Build, train, and equip a specialized, mobile, tactical expeditionary force beyond mere national defense)
4. CONQUER (Send said force to undertake an expansionist military campaign)
5. COLONY (Build a second administrative state in a foreign territory to facilitate extraction)
6. COMPANIES (Encourage or directly undertake merchant operations)
7. CROPS: (Producing taxable goods/services)
That is to say, in order for a King to make a profit, they must first stand at the head of an administrative state. ie… to wear a CROWN. Then, once the Crown was secured, they’d have to start raising money (either in the form of taxes or public works). Then, with that money, they’d have to expand the military into a specialized force capable of projecting power beyond their national borders. Then, they’d have to send that military out on expeditions. Then, the military would try to conquer and control a territory. Then, the Crown would have to set up a second administrative state in that conquered territory. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, once ALL that was in place, could the Crown finally invite over merchants, traders, and trappers to extract a profit. A profit that he could then, FINALLY, tax.
That is to say, in business terms, building a colony was a very, very risky move. It required spending enormous amounts of money, sometimes for decades upon decades in advance before ever getting to see a tangible ‘return on their investment.’ And, in the case of the Americas, European Kings suddenly had access to resources galore…but no civilian subjects that could withstand the climate to extract them. THIS is where the first major 'Innovation' comes into play.
9. CHATTEL: THE EUROPEAN INNOVATION
Slaving systems are not new. They existed in the Christian Bible, and most other Religions as well. It’s just what Kings do. And it's how thieves of every color stain our world. Kings have been carving the records of their crimes into stone stelae since the birth of farming. But, because of this…because Slavery has existed for so long, many Modern Folk use that as an excuse to downplay what came next in the Americas. Why? Well, because most people picture American Slavery like…well…regular old slavery. But, what the European Kings created here in the Americas was something totally and horrifyingly new. Something that was fundamentally unlike anything that had ever come before. Chattel.
"Chattel. What does that word even mean? "
Well, up until this point in history, Slaves were the product of war, debts, or conquest. Their lives were still stolen by Thieves, but their subservience was just a product of their environment. Something that could be changed. 'Slavery' was a change in social position, sure, but not a facet of their being. They were still…Humans at their core, just Humans whose social role had been forever altered by the theft of their fate. Meaning, even if a Man was sold into slavery, his subservience ended with his death. Not unlike how most modern nations treat their Criminals today. However, the European Kings took that system beyond the limits of natural death. In order to address their labor problem, they innovated a system of 'Holy Corporate Caste.' A racial and financial hierarchy ordained not just by the crown, but by their Loving God as well (incidentally, the same God who gave them the divine right to rule in the first place). That is to say, in the eyes of European Kings, Chattel Slaves were not only property, but BORN for no other purpose than to serve as disposable labor. To put it simply, by this worldview, ‘Slave’ was a Worker's ‘natural state.’ Enforced by both the nature of their blood and by the Mandate of Christ. This system first popped up in and around the island holdings of Spain and Portugal. But once the ‘Labor Problem’ in the Americas had become all too apparent, European Kings everywhere began applying this same “corporate caste mentality” en masse. It became the basis for everything that followed. There were those meant to work, and those meant to enjoy the fruits of labor. Soon enough, there were entire continents and hemispheres of this world, where Chattel Slavery was ordained by God. And, soon enough, People all over the world began to believe it. Mostly Christians, though. Many of whom, at that point, were already using the Bible to justify Slavery. There are, of course, many passages I could point to, but Slavers usually focused in on something they called the ‘Curse of Ham,’ a mindset that conveniently labeled all Black Folk as the inheritors of a fictional biblical curse. To them, that made all Black Folk…property. Forever. And, by this system of Chattel, European Kings opened the door to an entirely new form of profit. THE Profit. The ULTIMATE form of parasitic extraction. A corporate money-making scheme based on a caste of Laborers whose entire lives existed to perform work. One whose entire bloodline, past, present, and future had already been decided for them. Stolen. And Bought. Forever.
10. THE FIRST WORLD’S SECOND VICTIMS
So, with an iron fist in one hand, and a holy whip in the other, both ordained by a loving God whose martyred saints had ALWAYS justified their actions before, European Kings began to make the greatest profit in all of recorded history. A profit of near TOTAL extraction. In other words, under the European Innovation of Chattel, the ‘Workers’ themselves became as much an inhuman, unfeeling part of the economy as were the very crops they were being forced to harvest. And, because the European Kings did not consider their workers as Human, the Slave Masters were then freed from the burden of respecting their Workers’ ‘Christian Dignity.’
In fact, if a Child dropped dead, the Crowns and their Companies could just acquire more at any given time. Whether that was in the form of a ‘New Shipments across the Atlantic,’ or (if they wanted to save some money) through the ‘forced breeding’ programs they developed soon after. It didn’t matter to them. Because, in the eyes of Kings, they were not committing crimes at all. Rather, they had just discovered the greatest ‘infinite money glitch’ in history. A way of extracting labor forever.
So, blessed by that holy trinity, the Triangle Trade was born. A new shipping route that circled continuously between Africa, Europe, and the Americas. A process that went a little something as follows:
1. People for Materials,
2. Materials for Goods,
3. And Goods for People again.
And, as you might expect, EVERY step of this trade was taxable by the Monarch. From the rum produced in the Americas, to the People it was being traded for, to the Slavers being paid to transport. Soon enough, the cat was out of the bag. The money spoke for itself. And the profits extracted by the implementation of Chattel Slavery became the standard for all Colonial holdings. It was suddenly the sopping wet dream of every Monarch, to have a piggy bank on the opposite side of the world and a continual straw feeding directly into a King’s mouth. Straight from the ‘fields.’ Wherever those ‘Fields’ happened to be. AND THIS is how almost every modern country today got its start. As a part of this Royal Extraction scheme, based on American Chattel.
11. THE HEADLESS PARASITES OF VERSAILLES
Seeing the success of their “Cousin Brothers” in neighboring kingdoms, European Monarchies RUSHED their militaries all over the world to copy this same form of Profit Extraction. And, in most cases, they actually succeeded. In the years that followed, what we now think of as ‘Europe' was built. This is why Amsterdam looks so pretty when compared to some backwater village on the Cover of National Geographic. It’s why Scandinavia looks so, so charming and now gets to lecture the rest of the world on what it means to be a good global citizen. It’s how Switzerland found itself as the World’s Banker. It’s how the Palace at Versailles became not just gilded, but crusted in gold. And, most of all, it’s how Europe became the global powerhouse it is today. During this time, European Kings were able to make their homes and cities a collection point for all of the wealth being siphoned from everywhere else around the globe. Every iron cent of which they’d bled from the backs of men, women, and children. And the thing is…it worked splendidly. At least, financially. For a time, it worked very, very, very well. But there is, at its core, a fatal flaw with this system of extraction.
People are not…property. And it only takes about 250 years for them to break free.
THIS is where Risk comes into play. Because, remember, the first people a King steals from are their own. It’s only AFTER they’ve successfully monopolized violence at home that they can go out and do crime somewhere else. In other words, a King with 'Colonial Investments’ put themselves in a precarious position. They had to worry about not just war, colonies, and revolts, but also the people at home. This meant that the King carried ALL of the financial, administrative, and military burdens upon himself. High risk. High reward. But, as time quickly showed, that risky position could become incredibly unstable. And, soon enough, as Enslaved Peoples all over the world began breaking free, revolutionary ideas began circulating around the globe: ideas and dreams of liberty that– ironically—hitchhiked along the very supply lines that had been made to enrich the Crown.
And suddenly… most everyone started breaking free from Kings. Colonies everywhere began fighting back. And in that era, the United States of America was born! Others followed suit! And with every single one of these colonial SNAFUs, the Kings in Europe lost more and more generational investments. That meant, in order to maintain their ‘property,’ these kings were forced to impose higher and higher taxes upon their own people. And, as issues compounded, this ‘Top-Down Investment Strategy’ began showing the cracks in its hull.
That’s when it happened. Royals all over the world watched in horror as an Imperial Monarch finally pushed his own people too far. Kings everywhere watched in amazement as French Peasants discovered the best way to remove a crown. That is to say…somewhere around C3-C4…just to be sure. And then, to make matters worse, the Haitians had their own revolution, and reminded every oppressed people on the planet that THE OPPRESSED will always represent the majority force. Seeing this, Royals all over Europe privately came to the same conclusion. That being…that the Empire System was too risky. And that there MUST be a better way to achieve the same level of profit without suffering the wrath of the Guillotine. THIS is where the second adaptation comes into play.
12. THE 2ND ADAPTATION: A LIMITED LIABILITY CROWN
As European Kings were consistently dragged into more and more conflicts because of the many ‘risks’ they’d incurred all over the globe, a NEW form of entity began to take center stage. The LIMITED LIABILITY COMPANY. As its name would suggest, unlike the original system, where ALL of the risk was concentrated into one person at the head of a state, the LLC could split its risks among a slew of investors. In other words. The Shareholder was born.
"Yeah, so…a company? What’s so special about that?"
Don’t interrupt. But, yes, it actually WAS a very special innovation. Because, as we discussed, Colonial Caste Slavery was the ULTIMATE form of material extraction. But, up until that point, it required such an enormous amount of money to achieve it, that only Kings could really ever manage it. It was a level of profit that was only ever the ‘Privilege of Kings.’ Something out of the question for your run-of-the-mill Royals.
But, with the power of LLC’s, that Process was suddenly democratized and made accessible for the ‘Common Man.’ And, for the first time in history, thieves everywhere could now split a ‘Crown’ into pieces, without having to…you know…be the king of a country, first. A combination of both Merchant AND Mercenary companies, fused together to engage in Empire Extraction for profit. With this simple Innovation of diversified risk, Thieves were then able to streamline the Seven C’s of Extractive Profiteering.
COMPANY -> CAVALRY -> CONQUER -> COLONY -> CROPS
That is to say, they didn’t have to worry about ruling peasants at home. They could put the Company FIRST. And because the Company was funded by multiple people, it removed the need for taxation as well. With that simple adaptation, LLC’s quickly became the most valuable organizations in history. They had armies. Navies. Banks! They had companies within companies. Some grew so large they even had their own monetary systems. And of the many companies that existed in that era, none shows their capabilities better than the British East India Compa—
"Are they—"
Yes. Yes. The bad guys from Pirates of the Caribbean. That was them too. But, as I was saying. The British East India Company was not just a bad guy in the Caribbean. Rather. They took that shit global. While European Royals were consumed with ruling, bickering, fighting, and squashing rebellions everywhere they’d incurred risk, the EIC had none of that overhead. They were able to focus their attentions ENTIRELY on extracting profits. And. Profit. They. Did.
And surprisingly, their main profits were NOT in the Caribbean at all. Rather, the crown jewel of that LLC was…wait for it…the ENTIRE f*cking Subcontinent of India (Hindustan).
With nothing but shareholder investment, the EIC quickly proved that it could do everything a King could, but better. And faster. They raised a navy, raised an army, bribed local leaders, broke contracts, committed genocides, and created extraction systems wherever they went. During the course of that Company’s occupation, some estimates say that India was robbed of over 33… TRILLION Dollars. That’s almost 34 Elon Musks. It was a theft SO large that it forever changed the landscape of everything that followed. An extraction so successful, and so big that it changed both the ‘Thief’s' AND the ‘Mark’s’ domains forever.
Because LLC's were designed solely for profit, the state and systems in India were all set up and altered with the same goal. Not for enriching or developing Indians. But, rather, for the sole purpose of siphoning wealth into European Shareholders. From roads to aqueducts, from hedges to poppy plantations, the entire infrastructure of that continent was rebuilt around parasitic extraction for the sole benefit of a foreign entity. A system that intentionally worsened political divides, religious divides, and class disparity to this day. It changed what was once the richest territory on Earth, and bled it into three separate domains that all now hate each other.
Bangladesh. Pakistan. And India. All members of what people now call ‘The Third World’ or ‘Developing Nations.’ I personally don’t like either of those terms and prefer the phrase ‘Recovering Nations.’ Because that’s truthfully what they are. Territories recovering from intergenerational and genocidal pillage. And remember. This was JUST a single company in India. These same European LLC’s were doing this ALL over the world.
But. No matter how powerful a company, if you conquer an entire territory and then reform it around extraction…that is…unfortunately…the textbook definition of tyranny. And People have very good ways of dealing with tyrants. In other words, even though the British East India Company had no nation to report back to, they still had to administrate the objects of their pillage. They had to oversee entire nations filled with millions of people. And even with no Peasants to take care of back home…that’s a tall order for any company employee. And, as the 19th century progressed, those cracks only deepened. The process got stale. The dream needed to be adapted again. Because turning entire countries into extraction schemes was still a very, very risky endeavor. At least…not without a proper state military. And a clear division of labor. THAT…is where the United States of America entered the chat.
13. THE 3RD INNOVATION: A SLAVER’S GREAT NEW DEAL
In the power vacuum caused by waning empires and waxing companies, a compromise was found in the United States of America. Spearheaded by Banks and Whips, The Slavers of the American South began adapting the ideas of both the EIC and more traditional Kings. More than willing to change, they folded those ideas into an already-established system of Chattel Slavery. In so doing, the American Government and American Slavers made an de-facto dealAnd it went a little something like this…
“We’ll make you rich, and you'll use the military to keep us in business.”
In other words, they began working WITH their government. Piecemeal. Meaning, the Government would BACK a business. And the Businesses would fund their government. It was an ingenious ‘divide-and-conquer' strategy that did not set its sights on administrating entire swaths of land, but rather, on supporting individual companies who would then build smaller extraction systems of their own. The American Military became a communally funded business venture. One supporting LLC’s…who were operating from the comforts of home. By doing this, American Slavers were able to shorten those Seven C’s even further. Nearly perfecting the process.
COMPANY -> CROP (Singular)
They did this by shrinking the scope of their Kingdoms. Using the concept of LLC’s as a base for individualized 'small-scale kingdoms,’ American Slavers would then SPECIALIZE in a specific THING to extract. Where the EIC failed and overreached, American Slavers would not. They did not NEED to administrate an entire goddamned continent. They just…needed a field. And with the military’s help (and of course, Northern Banks ensuring every step of the process), a colonial extraction scheme was innovated yet again. But this time…it was focused. Localized. And Regimented. Tiny kingdoms, each with a single goal of producing mono-crop products. Like Cotton. Rum, Fruit. Or Tobacco. By doing this, every single plantation became its own little microcosm of the broader European system of Empire. A system that simply shortened the distance between the ‘Palace’ and the ‘Fields’ by connecting them on the same property. Almost as though Louis XIV could have actually seen his Haitian Sugar Plantations from the golden porch at Versailles. And, soon enough, just like how the ‘Triangle Trade’ once spanned the continents, the United States quickly developed its own little miniaturized version within the confines of its own economy. A Triangle Trade of continual domestic investment based entirely off of the corporatized ‘Labor’ of Chattel. Following these steps.
1. State Militias would ensure caste stability
2. Banks would insure Slavers assets, and provide loans to new plantation projects
3. Slaving Companies would produce mono-crop products. Ones whose sale would rinse and repeat the process.
In short, America’s innovation to the Extraction system was by creating an administrative state made by, of, and for…protecting this particular brand of Limited Liability Crown. Of small-time, localized kings, doing their very best to emulate Imperial Models of Extraction from their own back yards. And whether Chattel Slavery was a part of it or not, that made no difference to the US Government. Because they had chosen their expansion strategy. They had decided that they would DOUBLE DOWN on military spending, and then use it to support domestic LLC’s who would then crowdsource assets to ‘synergize’ imperial expansion. An old boot, adapted and modernized for Global Trade. And, as you can probably guess by the flag on Earth's moon, this proved to be a winning strategy. With most traditional forms of Colonial risk democratized, these small time Kings could extract Labor was continually from an underclass of Black Bodies. Because of this, both Slavers and American Bankers became forever intertwined. As the centuries passed, they modernized, mechanized, and motorized. Blood Quantums were enforced, and the entire structure of the American Economy was built upon the subjugation of Black Folk. Eventually the whole process became so efficient that Confederate Society models were actually used as the blueprint for Nazi ‘Blood Purity Scales.’ Needless to say, during this time Slavers, and America by proxy, all gained wealth rivaling any Old World Monarch. And yes. American Slavers did indeed come to think of themselves as Kings.
14. VAMPIRE VENTURE CAPITAL
There’s a very good reason people associate the American South with vampires. Its because American Slavers perfected this godless and inhuman form of extraction. They were, if nothing else, the champions of parasitism. But, therein lies the problem again.
People are not property. And they have a knack for freeing themselves by any and every means necessary. Remember, it takes, on average, 250 years for a population to free itself. And even in a system as ritually grotesque as the American South, the Enslaved People there were no exception either. As far as I have been able to research, the first Enslaved African Peoples were brought over as early as 1619, and the American Civil War began in 1865. To those keeping count…that’s 246 years.
Meaning the Enslaved Peoples of the American South freed themselves several years ahead of schedule. Damned impressive if you ask me. And as their efforts gained momentum. The Civil War broke out. And the Confederates fought back. For just like every form of King, the American Slavers’ social privilege had metastasized deep into their psyches: a cancer that would never willingly relinquish its host. Neighbors fought neighbors. Countrymen fought Countrymen. And finally, freedom was in sight.
15: THE CIVIL WAR
The Civil War raged on. Confederate Soycuck Vampires fought to protect their hegemony with a fury. But, thanks to the efforts of Countless Enslaved People, the tide of public opinion was beginning to change. And the Slavers had taken on too much risk. For just like how the King of France had focused his attention on his colonial wars…but neglected to consider the anger of his people at home…so too did the Confederates fail to consider what might happen while they were away fighting the North. Trade shortages. Defections. Entire Plantations worth of people revolting and joining the North. The writing was on the wall. The Confederacy was doomed. And despite its many faults, the United States has ALWAYS made the smartest business decision. It saw the writing on the wall as well. It saw that its taxpayers could no longer openly tolerate the presence of slavery. At least, not on their home soil.
"Yes, yes. I know what happened. The Civil War ended, and Lincoln freed all the slaves! Then everyone just started doing business as friends!"
Don’t interrupt. But…I suppose that’s not a surprising take. The Plantation Slave Owners DID both fund and lose the American Civil War. But what might surprise you is that none of them were ever punished for any of it. Remember. Kings never truly go broke. And, somehow, even though those Colonic Cancers rebelled in a soggy-soy-cuck-sister-f*ck-of-a-c0ck-brained-Confederacy, the vast majority of them just pivoted their investment strategy. They turned their attention to territories beyond US borders. That’s right. Just like the Nazi’s in our Thought Experiment earlier, the 'Kings of the American South' got to KEEP everything they had stolen during their 246 years of parasitic extraction. In fact, they managed to keep everything except the actual ‘Workers’ themselves. The Land. The Fields. The Influence. The Social Connections. The Big House in the poplar. But most importantly of all. Their caste within the banking system they’d built over hundreds and HUNDREDS of years. They kept it all. And with that ‘dragon’s hoard’ bloodying their wallets with nostalgia, those ‘reformed’ Slavers all got to investing. Meaning, the Gilded Age had begun.
16. THE 4th & FINAL ADAPTION: COMPANIES = PEOPLE
THIS is the caliber of Thief that was allowed to walk free following the American Civil War. Free, into a world that Imperial Kings had spent the last 500 years shaping to benefit their Ilk. Slavers and Bankers who had made their fortunes bled from the necks of Chattel, those Men were all set loose into the American Economy with every bit of their prejudices, finances, and advantages still intact. They were set free. Free to shape the modern age in their own Dorian image. Now, ordinarily, you’d think this second chance would have been enough for these…people. You’d think that any normal person would have just disappeared into the woodwork of our society. You’d think they’d just be happy living a rich and opulent life. Kumbaya indeed. But, no. Thieves are not normal people. And, like the European Kings they replaced, those vainglorious Confederate Colostomy Bags had grown accustomed to the concept of coercing free labor. To them, a hard day’s work was not something to be compensated…but expected. Demanded. And divined by right of their station. To them, the golden standard of financial success was NOT mere riches, no. It was the total, incontestable caste domination of workers. Past. Present. Future. And in those times of fast-paced innovation following the American Civil War, these ‘Reformed’ Slavers found themselves in a Brave New World. A world whose traditional empires had begun to crumble. A world positively brimming with financial opportunity. An America on the rise. A Superpower in the making. And a new form of military willing to back any company for a profit. In this way, America became the perfect Imperial State, and its military, the ultimate mercenary tool for corporate investment. As such, the racist stains of what Uncle Sam left unpunished quickly festered and spread into the very tapestry of our budding venture capital ladder. A ‘Slaver’s Itch’ whose fond memory constantly guided our Business Class' pens.
Memories of a time when labor was free.
Memories of a time when Business Owners were Kings over their own little domains.
Memories of a time when they could do whatever they wanted, TO whomever they wanted. With no consequence.
Memories of what profit margins used to look like during a particularly good harvest.
Memories of a time when they could steal not just people’s lives…but their futures as well.
And while I could not possibly compare the horrors of the Confederate South to the comforts of my modern American life, their fields are no longer here. They’re everywhere else. And you can clearly see the connection between those Slavers’ values and the world they helped to shape. Because the Rich never stopped WANTING slaves. It’s just…they had to adapt their methods of ownership. They had to hide their crowns behind a lawyer…and a corporation. And in so doing, Americans perfected the titles of both Thief and King: The American Robber Baron.
An individual whose wealth and military force are firmly entrenched in the state monopoly of violence, but whose investments are obfuscated behind their company. A limited liability company that is legally considered to be a person of its own, and, because of this, can be used as a patsy. As a title to be punished in the Robber Baron's stead. A glass crown to be shattered at the first sign of trouble, leaving no one to blame in its wreckage. For with this fourth and final adaptation, American Robber Barons created new, international companies that allowed their Shareholders to engage in Colonial Style Extraction anywhere on the planet, but with the total certainty that none of them would ever, EVER be held financially or personally responsible for their crimes. After all…even if their company overthrew a foreign nation….the shareholders didn’t do that shit! That was just…the company! So punish 'the banner' instead.
It is from this foundational principle and from these four major innovations that today’s ‘Business Class’ was born. And, it is through the advent of Corporate Personhood that the Business Class has shielded themselves from culpability since the Gilded Age. In this way, our modern ‘Business Class’ of Epstein-esque Billionaires became the perfect iteration of Slaver. Modern Kings whose greed still stains boardrooms, backs, and innocent bedchambers to this very day. The Kings that learned to hide their crowns.
17: THE ST. RUPERT’S DROP
In America…Money Talks. And because of the Business-forward innovations of our Slavers’ Caste, we allow money to talk louder than anywhere else in the history of this planet. It’s polluted many a tradition of hard work and artisan craftsmanship with the expectation of total parasitic extraction. Money has been paid to intentionally blur the lines between company and person. For even now, in the big 2026, we can STILL see traces of what our Predecessors left unpunished. Glimpses, smoke, and mirrors of an old childhood cancer. One that never truly left. Tumors that were never fully cut. An honest-to-God evil that likes to rear its ugly head in the most unexpected of places. And the more you look for it, the more you see its face...
In the treatment of ‘Welfare Queens’ vs White Collar Criminals.
In the price of rent. In the private equity companies allowed to own our homes.
In the cost of education. In the names of our University Halls.
In the privatization of healthcare. In the cost of life-saving medication.
In the banana republics of Central America. In the uniformly brown, Agricultural Workers still picking most of our US produce.
In Mandatory Minimums. In the business of private prisons.
In the Clothes on your back. In the sweatshops of Bangladesh that made them.
In the phone in your hand. In the cobalt mines of the Congo.
In the ‘Big House’ of our Global North. In the ‘New Cotton Fields’ of the Global South.
"H-holy shit. S-so…wh-what can any of us do? What can we do if Kings still control the world?"
That’s easy. You do what you can. And you remember. To always view the actions of companies through the lens of Crowns.
"Ok. Done. I can handle all that. But wh-what is a Saint Rupert’s Drop? And what on Earth does that have to do with any of this? Is it some sort of poetic conclusion to all of this seemingly unrelated information, thereby tying the entire central narrative together with a single convenient ‘through-line' that can then be applied to the broader world as a whole?"
Thank you for asking. That actually helps me a lot. Yes, I was looking for a way to transition into that. And yes indeed. The St. Rupert’s Drop is all that and more. It is a weird little quirk of traditional Glass Craftsmanship. It is a special shape of glass bead that occurs when molten product is dripped into cold water. It makes a strange, tadpole-like shape. And…because of this weird shape, it becomes drastically stronger. From the crown end of the St. Rupert’s Drop, the glass becomes practically indestructible from almost every single form of attack. Stronger than steel. And more durable too. You can hammer away at it all you like with nothing to show for it. You could get violent at it, throw all your attentions towards its indestructible head. But...you are unlikely to ever succeed. Due to the physics of its shape, the St. Rupert’s Drop is practically indestructible…from that angle. However, at the back, near the tail of the drop, the last place to enter the water…there is a nasty little secret. One that old St. Rupert doesn’t want you to know. The secret that with just the smallest little flick, the entire shape can be shattered at once. An Achilles Heel, baked into its very design. Both the cause AND the undoing of its strength.
In conclusion. Kings never left. We are, all of us, every Human on the Planet, in some way, shape, or form, the Victims of Kings. Even those populations from the Countries where Modern Kings are currently operating from. And today, Sapiens of every stripe are ALL of us equally afflicted by this new Business Class of Modern King. And, you have every right to be angry. There is much to be angry about in this world. Because it was not built for us. And as America celebrates its 250th anniversary, the cracks in her hull caused by these Modern Kings are only expanding. Wage stagnation. Endless wars. And the wanton slaughter of anyone that stands in the way of their Profit. It seems like its all coming to a head…and is hopeless. However, there is a silver lining to it all. By concentrating all of their wealth into finances exclusively…Modern Kings have armored their necks. And in the process? They have become more vulnerable than any other form of Monarch in history. More vulnerable than any Slaver. More vulnerable than any pickpocket. Meaning, over the centuries, every adaptation, every change, and every innovation that these Thieves have made to insulate their crimes from the threat of punishment, it has actually not reduced any of their risk at all. But, rather, all they have accomplished in doing, is concentrating that risk inwards, gathering all their fragility into a single, vulnerable point. A newly exposed flank that requires no revolutions to topple. Just time, effort, and the proper application of force. Sometimes… just…one…little…flick. But only if you know where to press. The Wallet.
THAT is the secret to overthrowing these Modern Day Kings. Because Modern Kings have taken so many steps to insulate themselves from the dangers of 'Traditional Revolutions,' now traditional revolutions are no longer a necessary step to deposing them. Today, all you need do is for enough people to aim at the wallets. In short, by pouring their attentions into defending themselves against the traditional risks of Extraction and Kingship, our Modern Business-Class have compounded the risks of their privilege into a fragile, singular point. The revolutions of France and Haiti that once bathed the streets red in the blood of Tyrants…are now…simply, not a necessary step towards accomplishing more. Or rather…such violent actions are no where near as effective as a coordinated campaign of private property damage. In the same vein, the senseless deaths of CEO’s…truly accomplishes very little as well (other than granting bought governments free license to suspend civil liberties with impunity). For even CEO's are just employees after all. Replaceable. And Reprogrammable. That is not the way forward. But...Cons are much easier to stop when enough people are able to see them for what they really are. And the more People talk, the more People see Thievery in progress, the less that thieves can hide in our midst. And no matter what else the US has become, it still holds a deep and abiding hatred of Kings. So wherever you are, as you hear the Rockets Red Glare this weekend, think on the nature of Kings. And in the coming years, remember, remember these words,
“So long as a single Company is allowed to be a Person, we will all forever be less than human before them."
18: CONCLUSIONS, AND MORATORIUM
I know. It may seem like I’m singing a funerary song. It may seem like I'm just another pessimist banging the wardrums of middle-school entropy and anarchic fire from the comfort and safety of a first world state. But I am not. Well, not exactly. Because I have never lost hope for the future. The upwards trajectory of our species, and of our world is, as a whole, unmistakeable. The world is ugly up close. But if you zoom out, our progress comes into view. I know it may seem like the world is a worse place today…but I assure you, the past was always worse. And the reason you are constantly being washed in tragedies every second by your phone, is because the roots of Kings are still festering everywhere in this world. The problems were already there. It’s just that…those being afflicted by them, were never worth mentioning before. Never worth broadcasting. The cacophonies of horror that you are experiencing today on the news, is a chorus of hope. A reminder that our Mordern World allows even the quietest of voices to carry. And the more of these horrible stories we hear, the more we can, as a species, self correct. So take pride in the fact that we are even hearing them at all.
That is why I’ve put a moratorium on trying to find a reason to celebrate my, or indeed any, nation at all. I’m separating the idea of nation states all together. Rather, this Fourth of July, I want to celebrate that moment. The independence. I want to celebrate the Revolutionary War, not for the nation it made, but for what it represented in the broader fight for Humanity. I want to zoom out and celebrate it for what it was. A Moratorium on Kingship.
Because no matter what else came next, that was undeniably a turning point in the story of Humanity. It spelled the beginnings of death for the tyrannical and traditional institutions of Kingship all over the world. Not all at once, mind you. And certainly not for everyone at the same time. Entire continents are still under that boot. But, what followed that 4th of July was undeniable. A slow, upward trend. Regardless of the Nation that followed, regardless of the flaws in our Founders, the flaws in their motivations, and the horrors that Americans have committed along the way…I truly believe the Fourth of July might still be worth celebrating. Because whether we meant it to be or not, the Revolutionary War's Victory played an indelible part in the eventual downfall of Monarchy. Building off the French...and rising to the shores of Haiti. And, while I cannot bring myself to celebrate this nation, I’ve come to recognize and appreciate its unusual contributions to Humanity. Today, I believe the United States’ greatest contribution to Humanity, has been these last sixty years. A golden age of relative, and spectacular peace: a comparative global stasis unlike anything that has ever come before. A stasis that the United States has facilitated, even if only as a result of satisfying our own Business Class’ private Greed. And the truth of the matter is that this 'US Greed’ genuinely helped to create a world that, momentarily at least, is too concerned about money to blow itself up fully just yet. For where the previous ages of more Traditional Kings were defined by risk, and constant unending wars (wars that always resulted in the holy separation of Human Populations into different isolated subplots), the greed of our Modern American Kings has created something totally different in the rippling devastation of their corporate ambitions. The USA has, as a strange byproduct of violently enriching its own Business Class, accidentally created a world of relative stability, one where the prioritization of Globalized Trade has produced an unintended, and frankly...miraculous result: a real chance at global discussion. And just as how revolutionary ideas once spread like wildfire along the supply lines of European Slavers, so too has the US unintentionally played an outsized role in providing Humanity a chance to speak to itself at length: to speak to eachother in a way that previous generations could never could imagine. Providing us all a chance to see, not just the fractures in our own nations, but in the systems of isolated nations as a whole. To see the roots we share between us. And to see the famines those roots have caused. Never before have so many ordinary People been able to focus our eyes, our attentions, and our deliberations in on these shared histories. To discuss our problems from opposite perspectives in real time, and to communicate the crimes of Thieves from completely different spheres of material extraction. Never before have so many of us, been able to share the same hopes, in the same language, and all at the same wonderful time.
So, even if you cannot bring yourself to celebrate a nation, I wonder if you could celebrate the moment. A moment that, in retrospect at least, became a crucial foothold in Humanity’s quickening march towards a more perfect world. It was an event that built over centuries, a tidal wave of inferno informed by the dreams of Enslaved Peoples, the world over. A wildfires lit by their dreams of a world beyond the empires of tyrants. A world beyond the long shadows cast by Thrones and the golden shackles of crowns. It was a moment whose lofty ideals set the bar impossibly high. Much too high for a nation of Slavers. A moment and a promise whose verbiage laid its sights on ideals far, far beyond the reach of any Founding Father. Far beyond the reach of any nation of that age, an age when the world was still a fractured tapestry of disparate, and illiterate colonial factories. An age drowning in the shadows of Kings. It was a momentous pivot towards a freer, and brighter world. A pivot towards a world yet to come. A moment of violent, explosive, and revolutionary defiance against the ambition of Kings…both foreign, and domestic.
Because make no mistake. There are true challenges on the roads ahead. Roadblocks that must be destroyed, fractures that will require specialized surgery, and institutional injustices that require not just systemic change, but global societal overhaul to address. Topsoils that must be tilled to remove the roots of colonial extraction. But regardless of the horrors we may face along the way, know that we, as a species, are both now, and have always been...on the upward trend. And I have a sneaking suspicion, that by the time we do finally create a better world, even the concept of Nations will seem as backwards and barbaric as the Kings of the Old World. But until that day, know that every step we take to celebrate each other, and with each other as well, is a rung on the ladder towards peace. Know that the conversations and the meals you share with strangers, will always produce both surprises and abundance in turn. Know that the unseen resistance of Oppressed souls, no matter how small, will always build into tidal waves overtime. And know that the actions of even imperfect souls fighting against tyranny, fighting against the ambitions of Thieves, even for the sake of their own greed, will always give rise to a better world. Even if it demands that they change. It just seems to take…on average...around 250 years. Or so.
Alright. I think I’ve convinced myself. I’m going to go grab some burgers. And watch the fireworks.